Shark World Cup 1999

Proposed Social Schedule*

 

Saturday - Opening Ceremonies, 40th Anniversary Bash and Getting to Know You Party

So much to celebrate, so little time. In addition to the traditional opening ceremonies with flag raising, anthem singing and welcoming addresses, this year we will host a 40th Anniversary Event to which all Shark sailors past and present are invited. We will also take this opportunity to present the George Hinterhoeller Award for 1999.

To encourage mingling and international name calling, each competitor and all support team members will receive a 40th Anniversary World Cup T-ship bearing their name, their yacht name and the country of origin (and the Sponsors' logos). You will be required to learn the names of ten new people, or at the very least, the names of the people you see every year and never bothered to get to know. And yes, there will be a test.

 

Monday - International Sailing Night

Having mastered the "Who" portion of this event, we will move onto "Where" with a quick primer on where your fellow competitors sail. All participants are encouraged to send Sharkbytes some photos and anecdotes about their home waters which will be cleverly woven into a multimedia presentation complete with wicked asides. Those who may be affronted by the asides should sit in the back.

 

Wednesday - Blender Wars

Crews will compete for the prestigious Shark Bite Remedy of 1999 award with a blender libation creation of their devising. An independent judging panel will endeavor to reach consensus. All others should reach for a glass. There is already a buzz about this event which may or may not be sponsored by Ontario Hydro. Participants are encouraged to arrange alternate transportation or island accommodation on that night. Non-alcoholic drinks are encouraged for the designated drivers. Points will be given to Bi-Blender Drinks which can go either way.

 

Thursday - Banquet and Closing Ceremony

Over so soon? This evening will be distinguished by lengthy speeches and interminable presentations. No, that can't be right. There will be speeches and presentations but they will be minor and unavoidable. Subsequent to the prize giving and memento sharing, there will be feasting and much dancing, including, but not limited to waltzing. Much fun will be had by all, culminating in promises to be broken in the light of day.

 

Shark Infested Waters

A daily anecdotal roundup by Beaux Eaux will appear on Sharkbytes and your permanent record. Do try to do at least one anecdote-worthy thing so it will appear to the world that this event was attended by at least one other person.

*Pending confirmation and sponsorship details.

 

Recap - 10 Things to do in advance of the best Worlds of your life

Try to remember the names of the people you already know so you will know who you donít know and be prepared to get to know at least ten of them. There will be a three-country minimum. Home country does not count.

Gather some photos and witty stories about your home club and send them in advance to Sharkbytes or be prepared to present them at International Sailing Night.

Perfect your own secret blender drink recipe. Be prepared to prepare it for at least two hundred of your new and old friends. You can practice this instead of sailing.

Pare your acceptance speech down to sixty seconds or less.

Take dancing lessons. Heavy on the waltz. It only happens once but it lasts for 13 minutes.

Practice being newsworthy. Have your fellow crewmembers interview you after each race. Try to make your obscure tactical decisions sound brilliant. Prognosticate freely before each race. Hedge your bets. Stay in the boat. Endeavor to keep your name and the words "Captain" and "Bligh" out of the same sentence.

Lose 20 pounds of fat. Gain 20 pounds of muscle.

Have your keel exorcised.

Take your vacation during the week of July 18th.

Practice, practice, practice.